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 Pinoy Pick-up Lines

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PostSubject: Pinoy Pick-up Lines   Sun May 04, 2008 8:21 pm

1) Favorite subject mo ba ang trigonometry? Kasi kahit saang angle ang ganda mo eh!

2) May free time ka ba? Samahan mo naman ako sa psychiatrist, magdala daw kasi ako ng kinababaliwan ko.

3) Tapos na ba exams mo? Para ako naman ang sagutin mo!

4) Alarm clock ka ba? Ginsing mo kasi ang natutulog kong puso!

5) Can you recommend a good bank where I can make a deposit? Because I'm planning to save all my love for you.

6) Ibibili kita ng salbabida. Kasi malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko!

7) Drugs ka ba? Nasisira na kasi ulo ko sayo eh.

8 ) Ako na magbabayad ng tuition fee mo. Basta ang pagaaralan mo lang ay mahalin ako!

9) Pwede ba kita maging driver? Para ikaw na magpapatakbo ng buhay ko.

10) *ito the best* Terorista ba tatay mo? Coz you're the bomb!
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PostSubject: Re: Pinoy Pick-up Lines   Mon May 05, 2008 11:48 am

cool!!!!!
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PostSubject: 2008 funny stories   Wed May 07, 2008 2:51 pm

SA BAKERY.
Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba, sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal!
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
Honeymoon:
BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.
GROOM- Kaya mo ito. Diba dati may alaga kang ahas?
BRIDE- Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!!
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin mlakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino b talaga ang anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun!
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
Magsyota naglalakad sa park:
GF: Hon, ihi muna ako
BF: Dyan ka nalang sa damuhan...
Habang umiihi, kinapkap ni BF ang legs ni GF nang may mahawakan syang mahaba sa gitna nito...
BF: Anak ng?! Bading ka ba o nagpalit na ng kasarian??
GF: Sira! Nagpalit lang ako ng desisyon. Tumatae na ako.
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
BF : May ibibigay akong gift sayo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman...
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
(Sa loob ng Mall)
GUY: LOVE, yan ang dati kong girlfriend.
Jowa: Ang pangit pangit naman!
GUY: Wala akong magagawa, yan talaga ang weakness ko ever since...
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?
DR: alin, yung bakla?
NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya.
DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?
=========
FROG: what does my future hold?
FAIRY: you'll meet someone who wants to know everything about you.
FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?
FAIRY: no. in biology class
=========
things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!
=========
inspiring quote of the day:
"hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko."
=========
BOY: I know we are also matter we can't occupy the same space at the same time. Kaya aalis na lang ako.
GIRL: bakit ganun para tayong mga parallel lines, why can't we meet at the same point?
BOY: your verbs and actions are not correct that's why all of the subjects are affected.
GIRL: ayoko na. you've reached my boiling point. And now my heart is getting to its freezing point!
=========
'dear te, dear te, dear te!!!'
-sigaw ni Anabel Rama kay Lorin at Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal.
=========
MRS: hon, am I pretty or ugly?
MR: uhm.. both..
MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?
MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty ugly.
=========
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.
=========
AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
NOSEBLEED!!! .hehehe
=========
BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
=========
DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.
==========
TRIVIA: do you know how they make rubber gloves in China ?
Workers deep their hands into melted latex, then air-dry them.
Now guess how they make condoms?
==========
Why God invented menopause:
Once upon a time, a 70 year old woman gave birth.
BISITA: pwedeng makita ang baby mo?
MOM: mamaya na.
30 minutes after.
BISITA: pwede na bang makita?
MOM: oo, pero hintay muna tayo na umiyak kasi nakalimutan ko kung saan ko linagay.
===========
in a miss gay pageant:
HOST: how can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic crisis?
BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay ito? Quizbee pala!
===========
Sexy girl nagkukumpisal:
PARI: iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal?
SEXY: father, pag nakakarinig po ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya magsex!
PARI: 'tang ina! Di nga?
===========
TEACHER: ano ang pambansang ibon?
BOY: chicken?
TEACHER: hindi! kulay brown ito!
BOY: fried chicken!
TEACHER: hindi! mas maliit ito sa chicken.
BOY: knorr chicken cubes!
TEACHER: get out!
===========
when your lips are silent and your eyes are closed and your ears are deaf. It only means one thing. May discount ka sa jeep. Disabled ka 'tol, disabled!
===========
The Philippine presidents flying in a plane.
GMA: what if I throw a check for a million pesos out the window to make at least 1 Filipino happy?
CORY: but my dear, why don't you throw 2 checks for half a million each and thus make 2 Filipinos happy?
RAMOS: why not throw four checks for a quarter of a million each and make four Filipinos happy?
And on it went until finally, Erap blurts out:
"but madam president, why not simply throw yourself out of the window and make all the Filipinos happy?"
============
a great example of globalization: princess Diana, a Welsh princess with an Egyptian fiancÚ, crashed in a French tunnel while riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, chased by Italian paparazzis on Japanese big bikes. An American doctor tried to save them using Brazilian meds. This message was made by a Filipino on a Finnish Nokia phone smuggled from China by a Pakistani based in Quiapo.
============
1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.
============ =
MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!
============ =
kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!
GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva eke k.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.
============
Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!
============
Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede?
"uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!.... ......
============
eto ang banat na malupet.
GUY: miss, pinaglihi ka ba sa inidoro?
GIRL: bakit?
GUY: kasi ako pinaglihi sa tae. Nung nakita kita, di ko mapigilang mahulog!
============
pen pen de chorvaloo de kemerloo de eklavoo, hao hao de chenelyn de big yuten. Sifit dapat iipit, goldness filak chumuchorva sa tabi ng chenes! Shoyang ang fula, talong na fula, shoyang ang fute, talong na mafute, chuk chak chenes namo ek ek.
-yan na naman ang mga batang bading! Ayaw paawat!
============
imagine if all straight guys are talking in gay lingo.
STUDENT: bakit di mo chinuva yung girlalu? Malaki naman ang susey ng lola mo ah.
HUNK: Winnie cordero nga dude sa susey, Melanie marquez naman sa brainwaves. Wit na.
Jaworski while coaching: keber sa kalaban! Just focus! We cannot afford to luz valdez ! Getlakin niyo yung last freethrow! Windangin yung mga julaban! Ok! Go for the gold to the highest level mga chorva! Gow lang! gow lang ng gow!
============
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PostSubject: wahahahaha   Wed May 07, 2008 7:43 pm

Nice one mylabs... hahahahahaha.. bonggacious kaau ka ever... more chuva magahat... gow lang ng gow... hehehe
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PostSubject: Sari-saring litanya nang pag-ibig....ni juan delacruz...   Thu May 15, 2008 5:48 pm

>mabuti pang salamin tinititigan nya ....ako hindi....
>mabuti pa ang calendaryo may date.......... ako wala...
>mabuti pa ang sabon nakakadampi sayong katawan...... ako hindi....
>mabuti pa ang baso dinadampi-an nang iyong mga labi... ako hindi...
>mabuti pa ang test paper sinasagot .....ako hindi....
>mabuti pa ang newspaper binabasa...ang feelings ko hindi..
>mabuti pa ang rexona it wont let u down....pagod ka na ba? u kip running kasi inside my myn.... Very Happy
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PostSubject: ayos!!!   Tue May 20, 2008 8:12 pm

wahahahha..pag ka joker!!mura kog ggitik.wahahahah Laughing Embarassed
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PostSubject: laughter is the best medicine...   Wed May 21, 2008 10:40 am

laughter is the best medicine.....so keep writing down ur jokes....go...
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PostSubject: Re: Pinoy Pick-up Lines   

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Pinoy Pick-up Lines
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